


I Love You, Yasmin Khan

by the_only_education_worth_having



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Confessions of love, F/F, Secret Relationship, fem/fem - Freeform, implied sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 21:37:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17988965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_only_education_worth_having/pseuds/the_only_education_worth_having
Summary: The Doctor tells Yaz the truth





	I Love You, Yasmin Khan

Don’t go,’ Yaz mumbled into the warm flesh that poked out below the tuft of blonde hair that obscured her view. The body in front of her rumbled as there was a slight chuckle before it moved out of her grasp, sitting up. The doctor sat covered by only a bed sheet looking down on Yaz with a soft sadness adorning her face.  
‘Yaz,’ she said with a sigh causing the other woman to sit up in bed, the sheet exposing her as it fell around her waist.  
‘The boys are still asleep,’ she reasoned with bright eyes, ‘c’mon.’

She tucked a strand of hair behind the doctors ear stroking her face as she did causing the Doctor to smile for a split second before she shook her head and said, ‘c’mon let’s go! Can’t spend all day in bed galaxies to see!’ Her vulnerable side was gone, the bright bubble doctor everyone knew was back and it was like a smack to the face for Yaz. She hated this side of the Doctor sometimes, distant, behind a wall. Of course, she loved going on all those adventures with her and the boys but the side of her that only Yaz saw was a whole other adventure. With Yaz she was completely herself, tender, loving and vulnerable. No front, no pretences, just them. But she would never let it be like that. Yaz understood her reasons but she didn’t have to like them. So, like many of the nights they spent together, it was over in a flurry of grabbing for clothes and a gentle closing of a bedroom door as Yaz was left alone.

They weren’t together. This was all it could ever be and Yaz had accepted that but it didn’t mean she didn’t want more. It had only started because she had gotten jealous that a male Silurian had taken a particular shine to the young human. They had been left alone in the console room, the Doctor working out pent-up jealousy and Yaz unable to sleep when they’d struck up a conversation about personal relationships.

‘ _What are you doing up?’ Yaz asked with a yawn as she parked her bum against the console where the Doctor was at work._  
‘Busy,’ she said, ‘working….what are you doing up?’  
‘Couldn’t sleep,’ she sighed watching the blonde work.  
‘Not dreaming about good-looking Silurians then,’ she jibed, ‘he had quite the thing for you.’  
‘Pffft, not interested. Besides being an alien is one thing but being a bloke is another,’ she said with her nose wrinkled causing the doctor to look up from where she was working and looked at Yaz perplexed, her face a picture. Yaz had to resist from bursting into laughter. She didn’t broadcast her sexuality, she was happy with who she was, but not everyone in her community accepted her so she never really mentioned it unless she needed to, ‘I’m gay Doctor.’  
‘Oh,’ she said flustered, ‘oh right, okay cool.’  
‘That doesn’t bother you, does it?’ she asked yearning for her to say no.  
‘Of course not,’ she giggled nervously, ‘I can’t judge anyone for who they like  I once married Queen Elizabeth I and left her before the honeymoon.’  
‘Shut up seriously?!?’ Yaz asked gobsmacked.  
‘Yeah! Good Queen Bess wasn’t always so good,’ she chuckled.  
‘So you get it then. You’re like me, you’ve, y’know been with a girl?’ Yas asked as the doctor fiddled with various knobs and buttons on the TARDIS console. She looked up at her and for once she looked as if she were stuck for words.  
‘Erm, yeah, yeah, I have,’ she said with a smile gaining confidence trying to pretend as if she weren’t caught off guard, ‘well not as me and not in this body but yeah, sort of. I kinda remember what it’s like anyway.’ The Doctor’s eyes dropped to the console and her lips looked as if they were pouring out words that would never be heard before she coughed and said so low it was barely audible, ‘have you?’  
‘Yeah, only a few times. A handful of relationships, it’s hard enough being a Pakistani, female police officer let alone being an openly gay one.’  
‘You don’t strike me as someone to hide that side of themselves,’ the doctor mumbled.  
‘You don’t strike me as that either,’ Yaz said.  
‘Truth is I don’t. I mean I can’t exactly be open about something I don’t know about. I don’t even know what I am. I don’t really see gender as that big of a deal,’ she shrugged, ‘and this body barely remembers what it’s like to be in a relationship anyway.’  
‘Do you want to remember?’ Yaz asked in a moment of rare confidence as she edged towards where the Doctor was stood and traced the back of her hand with her fingertips.  
‘Maybe,’ the Doctor whispered staring at Yaz’s lips for a moment before her gaze landed on her dark brown eyes.

Yaz was stirred from her thoughts as there was a knock at the door which caused her to cover up hastily, and Graham poked his head around the door diverting his eyes once he saw she was semi-naked. ‘Yaz, Doc says we’re landing in ten minutes, get dressed will you,’ he said before disappearing behind the door and closing it quietly. Yaz sighed and climbed out of bed grabbing clothes from the heap on the chair near her bed. She threw on jeans and a shirt before grabbing her jacket and tucking it under her chin as she brushed her hair through and placed it up in a ponytail. When she entered the console room she watched the boys and the Doctor chatting away about whatever planet they were destined for next and though she was intrigued she said nothing, a bad mood brewing inside her. The Doctor clocked her icy nature straight away but the boys seemed oblivious, her curt tones and frosty glare that was not in keeping with her bubbly nature hadn’t triggered any response. Maybe they had noticed but elected not to investigate, scared of what they might unleash.              
‘Right!’ the Doctor said, not meeting Yaz’s eye, ‘let’s get moving.’

* * *

They returned, battered and bruised the four of them hobbling into through the TARDIS doors triumphant over an evil alien species though paying the price now.  
‘Come on,’ Ryan said as he lugged Graham up the steps to the rest of the TARDIS, ‘Doc which way to the medical room?’  
‘Three rights and a left,’ the Doctor said as she watched the boys go a fake smile in her voice as she tried to maintain a positive spin on the day’s events. As the boys rounded the corner and went out of sight, and more importantly earshot, the blonde rounded on Yaz who had just trailed in through the door, closing it gently her eyes dropped to the floor.

‘You going to explain yourself?’ the Doctor asked. She was stood by the console with her hand on her hip and though her face was calm her eyes were thunderous.  
‘What?’  
‘Don’t ‘what’ me Yasmin Khan,’ she said, ‘what were you thinking baiting that Daemon, they could have killed you! They would have if I’d have given them half the chance.’  
‘I didn’t mean to get anyone hurt-’  
‘You didn’t mean it,’ she scoffed, ‘still didn’t mean it didn’t happen. You’re lucky your friends care so much about you. Poor Graham could have lost that arm if I hadn’t-’  
‘Oh yeah! I’m so lucky to have the fabulous Doctor in my life. If it weren’t for you blah blah blah. I get it! You’re so amazing and I’m just such an idiot,’ Yaz scoffed barging up past the Doctor towards her room but before she could get there the Doctor grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back.  
‘What’s going on with you?!’  
‘What do you care?’ Yaz scoffed, ‘I thought I was just a liability. Some stupid human girl who you daren’t be seen with.’  
‘Is that what this is about? That I won’t go public with you,’ she asked perplexed.  
‘Public?!?’ Yaz scoffed, ‘You won’t even go out of the bedroom with us.’  
‘You don’t get it, do you? It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t. If I tell everyone about us they’ll use you as a bargaining chip, as a way to get to me-’  
‘Who will? Whose they? You put up these reasons but you can’t even tell me who they are.’  
‘It doesn’t matter who. It could be anyone! You think that in over a thousand years of life I’ve not made a few enemies? I’m known Yaz, and they know that my biggest weakness is family. The only reason Graham got hurt tonight is because of it.’  
‘What?’  
‘I wasn’t defending Graham against the Daemon, I was defending you. I didn’t even see Graham near it, it hit him because I moved it away from you when I used my sonic.’  
‘I didn’t know,’ Yaz said bashfully.  
‘I’m blinded by family. It’s been used against me before and if you think I’m going to let them destroy the woman I love-’  
‘The woman you what?’ Yaz asked shocked.  
‘Love,’ the Doctor said, ‘ I love you, Yasmin Khan.’  
‘I love you too Doctor,’ Yasmin whispered leaning into her and reaching up to stroke her cheek though the Doctor turned her head away.  
‘I can’t,’ she said slipping out of Yasmin’s grasp, ‘I’m sorry.’


End file.
